First Anniversary of Two Cultures Blending
70Two Cultures Blending Into One
Two separate cultures blending are sure to create some interesting differences.For a start ,do you live in his country or hers? Add a second marriage into the mix and other people are automatically added to this truly internationally flavoured mix.
Southland Maori Culture-New Zealand, Pittsburgh Steelers-USA
Some Background On Two Cultures
I identify as a New Zealand Maori, woman ,born and raised in New Zealand to a Maori Father, and New Zealand born white Mother, of Scottish and English heritage. English is my first language ,although I understand some Maori language ( also an Official language in NZ) and enjoy the richness of both heritages.
I also hail from a family of nine children ,so get togethers can be quite vocal, and often musical. The guitars or stereo resounds through the house and everyone is eager to know everyone else business. Lots of sharing and caring. Visits can be unannounced ,fleeting or lengthy.Maori's are known for their hospitality and once in your home love to nurture and treat you like family.
To quote and Old Maori Proverb:
"Te Wai Wai Tapu" I walk comfortably in both lands'
My Partner is American born in Jamestown, and hails from the state of Pennsylvania.(USA)
(home of those super-bowl winners above right)
At the moment we are living in South Carolina hence the Palmetto Palm just above..( New Culture for us both)
My husbands ancestors came from Scotland and on his mums side ,some Native American Indian, no-one knows too much ,so I'm looking forward to learning more of that cultural connection too.
Where the Superbowl Champions ,Pittsburgh Steelers rock, yeaaaaaa.....( I had my first football lesson last Sunday).went something like this...."gosh those pants are tight , yes I'm paying attention !,"ok that's the 10 yard line"..."love that colour they're wearing."..ohhh sorry , no I missed that " ...yawn..yawn..."ohhhh look hes made it past two lines,3, yes run run , he made it...touchdown!!!,...is it over now honey?......
Two Cultures Blending
Respect
I don't know what you mean when you think a certain way, or say a certain word, but I respect you ,and I will show you by listening ,and checking that we both understand one another. We often feel confused whenever we don't understand ,even the most simple conversation.
Communication
Effective communication particularly important when two cultures blend, means letting the other person know you heard them and this is one effective method to help do this.
"It makes me mad ,when you ignore me (my questions, my requests, my opinions)"
Many times especially in the 'really getting to know you ' phase with another culture its not the obvious things Religion,Children,Values, etc that stand out but small things that if not talked about in a lighthearted manner ,can become bigger than they really ought to be , things like:
Tone of voice , emphasis on certain words ie WHAT!
"So you get mad when you think Im ignoring you" ?
Talking and listening effectively is shared privilege , not just for the man ,or woman ,but shared. It benefits both people and the more you learn ,the closer you become ( or not) but you learn.
So just because two people speak the same language, doesn't mean culturally they are will communicate the same way.
He says "What you've never seen night crawlers??" Shes thinking ( so who cares if we have night crawlers-defensive mode rises) "What you guys don't eat alot of chili??" (she thinks, oh so we all gotta like chili now)
Reality is hes expressing his surprise openly, because that's common in his culture. The other way around ,would go something like this.
She says "Oh shut-up for 10 mins,I'm trying to talk to my sister" He not only thinks I'm rude ,but expressesit ,ha ha "Screw you" n walks off...She is bewildered?....and the amber light flicks on , is he sensitiveor what??......eventually we check out what exactly each one meant. That was definitely a cultural communication moment....We have had many other 'moments ,trust me , but thankfully we have matured in that particular area. Onto the next 10, just kidding.
Be Interested In The Other Persons Life ..So many events, memories,family history are part of your partners life-be interested!
Get to know other family members ,anyone can notice even a few things to comment, or compliment them on. Write letters ,send birthday cards. The more you give off the vibe that your open to knowing them ,the more likely they will be to let you into their hearts too.
First Anniversary Of Two Cultures Blending
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FIRST ANNIVERSARY
22nd August 2009 Will be our First Wedding Anniversary
Seemed like we met years ago ,and that because we did really. .Eventually we married in New Zealand and will celebrate our very first Anniversary In the United States!
He liked rock , I liked country, 'never heard of New Zealand (well vaguely he had) but I really didn't care too much about that , I was more interested in his values how he treated his mother and sisters .Maybe I thought he didn't mean anything , but subconsciously I knew the better he treated those other women in his life , the better chance I would have of being treated well.......that was the theory anyway. I have written an earlier hub called Long Distance Relationship on how we first met ,so I wont bore you with that here. Suffice to say we have had many firsts along the way since 2001.
If You are celebrating an Anniversary today ,my warmest Congratulations to you and yours!! forver and ever..Amen
First Anniversary GIFTS
TRADITIONAL
- Artwork
- Love letters and poetry
- Favorite book
- Memory album
- Stationary with new married name
- Home decor
- Gift certificates
- Cigars
- Book of floor plans (if building a house soon)
- Life insurance
- Geneology
- Tickets to a play, concert, or sporting event
MODERN
Wood sculpture
- Kitchen appliances
- Tupperwear
- Household appliances
- Household items
- DVD or CD
- Sunglasses
- Sports gifts
- Yoga mat
- Luggage accessories
- Adult gifts
- Artisan clock
- Personalized clock
- Watches
- Feature-rich alarm
- Becoming Engaged: Traditional & Modern Engagement Rituals
The rituals with which we bind up our lives are many and diverse. One such custom, the exchanging of tokens to announce the intended joining of two lives, has its roots deep in the ancient traditions of many cultures. Originally intended by some for the protection of the intended bride, or by some to herald the dynastic union of two families, this custom has become ingrained in our western society as the ultimate expression of romantic love...and what could be more romantic than the pledging o - 2 years ago
- HubMob Weekly Topic: Marriage
http://hubpages.com/hub/Weddings-Before-you-say-I-do - 2 years ago
- My Silver Wedding Anniversary-A Renewal Of Vows
Silver Wedding Anniversary is the first of major wedding anniversaries and therefore the 25 years of married life are celebrated with all things silver. The theme is silver and the wedding bands are sterling... - 2 years ago
- Marriage Takes Two People to Make it Work
Marriage - Like any other relationship requires commitment and work, it's not a "happy ever after" deal. But it's worth it. - 2 years ago
- HubMob Weekly Topic: Marriage
http://hubpages.com/hub/Lessons-from-Jane-Austen-on-Marriage - 2 years ago
- Marriage Anniversaries and Ideal Gifts
A wedding anniversary is a special day. A celebration of a life shared with a unique person. One day in the year when you can sit back and say I married the right person and am glad I did. It is also the day... - 2 years ago
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Update
08-22-2009 , 22-09-09
Celebrated our first Anniversary at a local Restaurant, Southern Style . Delicious ,simple and truly another milestone of our first anniversary of two cultures blending!
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Very funny and entertaining hub, EagleKiwi. I have stories for you that will make your eyes roll and some that will make you reach for a Kleenex. It's pretty cool that you like the Steelers...But I bet you know who I like!
I guess that if you love someone and they love you right back, anything really is possible (as trite as that may sound). What many people don't get is that marriage is work. If people look at marriage the way successful business people look at a business, there would be less divorce throughout the world.
Great to hear from you, EagleKiwi! Talk to you soon!
Dohn
Hi emievil, thanks for fanning me, an honour. So many differences can be funny if you keep a positive slant on knowledge I think. We dont fight over which music to play now, well not much lol.
Hi Dohn thankyou for your comments and insight!
lol @ football observations, I want to understand the game more so I can comment, but not sure if thats a good thing either but will be an improvement on ,,ohh i like the guys who wear purple....
Im not very good with bets but maybe you like the 'Huskies' forgive me if Im wrong.
I totally agree with you on marriage being work, and yes being committed to making it work ,just like a successful business might.
I hope you write too about your experiences! thanks again Dohn.
Happy Anniversary! This is the blending the will bring peace to the world. When all cultures mingle understanding grows and the need for war will die. We have blending in our family. Our family has members that are European/American, African/American, and Hispanic. It is a real good thing.
Hi Pete, Awww thanks for your good wishes. And ya know what I think your right!. It is a small thing but almost every day I meet someone who is curious because they have never met someone (me) that was born so far away, and its great feeling when they accept and even like you. Yes it is a real good thing-heart of the matter or matter of the heart lol
The blending of two cultures is not easy. In my case we had to find a common ground and that is that we both are Christians. It is hard because black Americans and white Americans do still live in separate worlds though most people are used to seeing both, most don't live in both. I changed a lot but I am still me. I don't do what I would do if I had never met my wife or had my children, I know. But I like what's been incorporated in. I wasn't a fan of rap. I listen now with one ear. I've had to learn. She lives differently too, I know. Putting up with country music once in a while and my news/talk radio. Thank you for sharing this much of yourself. I'm glad I had the chance to meet you, my friend.
Hi no body ,wonderful to see you again and thankyou for your comments.God really is the glue and sometimes it can feel pretty wobbly.
I think I know what you mean ,same , but different.Perhaps too, some people are just more open and tolerant of one anothers differences. I try not to sweat the small stuff and keep it in perspective as much as a woman can lol.To tell you the truth it is not until another person asks either of us , how we feel about something,( that they perceieve would be a problem??) do we smile n say , its not really a problem. Must be because we ,like you are just loving n living life the best way we know how.
It is an pleasure to know you too.
p.s I have teenagers so I learned to listen to rap(some) with one ear ,long before I got to the USA lol.
Congratulations, and may you have many, many more anniversaries to celebrate together.
Nemingha -Thankyou for your comment and good wishes!! that was very kind.
Beautiful piece. Congrats on seeing the issues and blessings with merging cultures. So much can come out of it.
Thankyou RGraf such a wonderful honor coming from someone like you ,smiles.
Great hub that touches the "hairiest" points of marying someone from a different culture. I've been married for 15 years to a Scots (I originally come from South America) and we still have communication issues LOL. But on the good side being so different is what keep us going and making everyday interesting.
Cheers to both of you and my wish for many many years of happiness!
When man had just finished evolving,(dating long loooooong back), there were only few people then and there were two types of them - The 'fully' evolved and the 'partially' evolved.The fully evolved called themselves as "Men" and renamed the "partially evolved" to "Apes" and built special structures for them (Yeah,the zoo's) . At this juncture,when a Man wanted a female partner (a woman), there were no cultures and so on...if he liked someone, he could very well have her for life (with her consent) and it mattered only as long as they both were humans and if they liked each other...There were no concepts of white,black, The "Southern" culture, The "Northern" culture...etc
Cultures and Color are only additional keys of compatibility, they are not mandatory though for a Happy Living. A person from the same culture means that he/she knows about your culture and you need not teach him/her extra stuff like some peculiar habits, formalities etc...If a person is from a different culture, it means you will need to teach them those things...and that is the only difference as far as I can see....
Ultimately, like I said before, all it matters for a successful and happy living is that you both be humans (which I know you are) and like each other (which I know you do). Since you both fulfil the necessary requirements for a happy living, I don't see anything else that can stop you guys from being happy :)
Cheers to both of you, Hoping for many many many of such Happy anniversaries to celebrate together :)
May god bless you too :)
Princess -Thankyou for your good wishes.Hairy is a good word to desribe some life defining moments.Often its subtle ,other times quite obvious,yet always like you say-always something new to learn.
imginoic-Interesting anology,although I dont beleive either of evolved from monkeys.Formalities and protocol has made for some interesting conversations along the way indeed ,mostly positive and interesting.Thankyou for your good wishes for us.Appreciated.
Boss Lady you rock! Hey, in Nigeria we've got hundreds of cultures and languages! Try that! Its crazy, forgetaboutit! Hey, funny way of writing stuff. I like you, Kiwi Woman. Just so you know. ;)
Hey CJ ,are you campaigning by any chance , lol ,I like you do.
Nigeria sounds amazing ,full of rich history and cultures indeed!
Funny way Ive writing stuff? -thanks for your comments.
I knew you liked me, ha ha ha. Hey, I meant you write with a sense of humour, funny writing...like its funny. Now dont do that Joe Pesci scene in Goodfellas where he says, "What do you mean, funny? Funny how? Like I'm a clown, I amuse you?" :)
Hey your perceptive I like that ,haha cuz I did mean it like Joe. I inherited my sense of humor from my dad, its been probably my best survival weapon and friend, well one of them.
Very funny and nice hub
I really enjoyed reading your hub because you poured your heart and soul into it. I think culture blending is interesting. I 'm a third generation Texan with Spanish, Croatian, Austrian, Lippan Apache roots. I'm not sure about the Lippan Apache roots but I decided to include it.
I imagine New Zealand is very beautiful.
I'm thrilled to have met you today!
Many Hugs!
Lgali always a pleasure to read your comments.
Raven King , Thankyou for your kind and generous comments,I guess I dont know how else to write .Wow what a beautiful blend of cultures running through your veins too! My dad said my grandmother ( who sadly I never got to meet) had Croation blood. Thankyou once again for your encouragement ,mana for my soul!
Mana=food
happy belated first - I agree that communication, respect and trust are integral components - good hub
mtsi-Thankyou for your good wishes and comments-appreciated`smiles.
Hey Vrajput Thankyou for reading and leaving a lovely comment! great to see your happy face.
great insight into multi-cultural issues. Good luck with your continued journey.
Thankyou so much for your good wishes and visiting my hubs. Your effort and support is valued alot!
Nice hub Eaglekiwi. I recently moved from the US to live with my wife and daughter in Russia. The culture is very different and I can relate to a lot of what you have written about.
Hi Paul ,nice of you to drop by and I wish you and your family every happiness living in Russia. Will you live someday in the states as well ,in the future maybe?
Eaglekiwi, what an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing such personal stories to make your very valid points on things that help to make a marriage work. Well done.
I smiled hugely when you talked about learning football. I won't tell you what my first reactions were to the game because I believe we are in polite company. I still have not learned to like the game. I know I know, many people will be on my case about that, but I'm over it. LOL
Thank you, it was a pleasure reading this hub.
Duchess OBlunt It is always an honour for me to see you have stopped by and read my Hub. I think any relationship has its ups n downs but we had a very long courtship ,so I believed that helped to iron out many wrinkles too, though a few persist , lol. Thankyou again for your comments.
Eaglekiwi,
Congratulations!
I think it is amazing the things that a couple can work through when they genuinely Love and Care for one another.
Communication is important...
Blessings
DeBorrah K
Thankyou so much for your good wishes. I guess where theres a will there is always a way, and everything else in between works out over time ,usually lol. Thankyou again.
oh this is nice, could have greeted you a happy anniversary then, more years and love to come for you...
Hi prettydarkhorse- thankyou for your good wishes,very kind of you!
Great hub! I'm a bit late lol, but still a good read.
Communication is definitely the key, as a different culture during your life will mean you are 'wired' slightly differently. Language can also be an issue, especially when speaking a second language (misunderstandings SHOULD be expected lol). However, a ,mixed culture also adds sooooo much to the relationship!
Thanks for sharing, voted up and awesome
Hi Brett.
Positive comments are never too late and I thank-you most sincerely.
There is so much to overcome at times, but nothing is impossible and there does come a time ,when everything is just 'normal'.
I guess we are lucky too in that we both hail from Western countries and its a good time to create some blended traditions.
Appreciate your encouragement a lot!
Sounds like you are very adaptable and accepting-- that goes a long way to making a good bond. Interesting that you both spoke the same language but still found so many new things to share from each other's culture.
I first met my husband when we were children and neither of us spoke the other's language.
We have been married almost 49 years, and sometimes we still miscommunicate.
It does help to be adaptable and having a positive attitude certainly has helped, however I must say we are both still a work in progress-though that has more to do with personality perhaps than being a different culture.
49 yrs ,is quite an achievement. Congratulations on that.
Hi Eaglekiwi,
I am Maka from the republic of Georgia, I was writing an essay about advantages and disadvantages of living in two cultures and came across with ur hub in google. I loved it,it's very interesting and inspiring. Also I am wondering about ur another hub called Long Distance Relationship how can i read it? could u share it? my email is makaekameg@gmail.com
And i like ur greeting Hongi:) I will try to do it with my friends
I would like to get to know u more if u do not mind
Best wishes
I like Maori language, the way it sounds and also ur proverbs:-)
Wow how far u are from ur motherland now, when did u go to New Zeland for the last time?
Also in my country Rugby is very popular sport, and we have very good rugby players not like all blacks but..:) I like Rugby, i watched some matches of World Cup from tv
looking forward to hearing from u
Maka
Thank-you for your interest and your very kind comments.
Different cultures are unique and bring to any relationships a vast mix of history and traditions, some modern ,some not so.
But at the base of most peoples hearts is still the ability and desire to listen ,care and love.
Just as in any relationship ,obstacles can be difficult, it is harder ,but not impossible for different cultures to inter twine, there can be misunderstandings and bruised spirits if one person tries to dominate the other.
To me is like creating a new set of values and traditions,some from his heritage and some from mine .
Over time we will be like a new tree-once two different plants.
Yes Rugby is very big in New Zealand and we love to see the All Blacks win, I think it has been fantastic to see so many countries take part at the World Cup.
So many teams were exciting to watch!
Regards
I love this hub!! I am glad I found you on here! :)
Oh cool ya found the hub ,thanks for dropping by sar,good to see you.
Have a wonderful day!
emievil 2 years ago
Hey Eaglekiwi, great hub. I can relate with the "he like rock, I like country" phrase - definitely describes my husband and me =).